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The only thing I can recall about my dream last night is this:
I was walking, and I saw what I thought was a coyote in the distance. As I approached it, I realized it was actually a wolf. I was only a few feet away from it when I stopped. I knew it could probably kill me, but it did not try to attack me, and I didn't try to run away (nor was I particularly scared). The wolf stood there, calmly, looking at me, and I stood and looked back.
That's all I can remember.
The wolf looked a little like a gray wolf, but it was smaller, so I'm thinking that maybe it was a Mexican wolf. I don't actually think I've seen a Mexican wolf before, so I'm not sure why I would dream of one. I don't think it was a coywolf or a red wolf because of its coloration (grey).
DreamMoods.com gave me these interpretations:
Coyote: To see a coyote in your dream denotes deception and weakness.
Wolf: To see a wolf in your dream symbolizes beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are a loner by choice. Negatively, it represents hostility and aggression. It may also reflect an uncontrollable force or situation in your life. In particular, if the wolf is white, then it signifies valor and victory. You have the ability to see the light even in your darkest hours. To dream that you kill a wolf indicates betrayal and secrets revealed.
They are not as helpful as I'd hoped they'd be, so if any of you (Marissa) could help me to interpret this dream, I would very much appreciate it. :]
♥
Edit (2:47PM): Dream Visions has proven to be a bit more helpful than the other site...
Coyote
Wisdom, being "at one" with the Earth and environment, the "balance of nature" or "a natural balance." Dreaming of this animal can represent:
* Having too much of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being less this way
* Not having enough of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being more like this
* Someone or something in your real life with whom you associate one of these qualities (an event, situation, threat, etc.)
Wolf
Spirit or soul. Loyalty, fearlessness, or steadfastness. Dreaming of this animal can represent:
* Having too much of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being less this way
* Not having enough of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being more like this
* Someone or something in your real life with whom you associate one of these qualities (an event, situation, threat, etc.)
For more clues, pay attention to what the animal was doing or any particular characteristic that stood out.
An aggressive wolf can represent a fear or perceived threat (perhaps an emotional threat) in your real life.
Interesting...maybe the calm wolf represents...well...a sheep in wolf's clothing, for lack of a better way of putting it? Hmm...
Edit (3:07PM): As hideous as the site is (we aren't even going to discuss the name), I think DreamHawk is the most helpful site I've found so far. It takes a Jungian perspective, which I dig. The analyses of animals in dreams are so extensive that I'm just going to post links...
Coyote ("It is sometimes used to represent the 'trickster'..." / "He has also the ability of the transformer...")
Archetypes - Trickster ("Trickster is a shape shifter and so has the possibility of transformation.")
Wolf
Animals as Dream Figures
Very interesting.
I don't much like coyotes, so I'm inclined to believe that the perceived/false coyote at the beginning of the dream is a negative symbol, while the unthreatening wolf is a positive one. Maybe something I perceive as negative is actually a good thing, or someone I dislike is actually an ally? Perhaps the coyote-turned-wolf actually represents myself? Maybe the coyote--as an incarnation of the "trickster architype"--was really a coyote the entire time, and was falsely presenting itself as a wolf?
I'd like to think that the dream represents a change in myself from the childish, selfish, immature "coyote/trickster" type to the mature, loyal "wolf" type, but I may be stretching a bit with that one. ;]
Who knows...
Edit (3:12PM): No, the dream does not mean I'm a furry. D:<
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All sorts of crazy nightmares last night.
The first few were more like half-asleep hallucinations. I kept feeling spiders crawling all over me, but when I jumped up, turned on the light and checked the bed, there were none. In fact, I couldn't even find any down feathers or hair or anything that might tickle me and trick me into a spider freak-out. After about an hour of these pseudo-nightmares, I sat up in bed, my knees tucked up to my chin, and kept thinking, These things don't happen to sane people.
Eventually I tried to go back to sleep, but the nonexistent spiders continued to torture me, and their attacks were punctuated by worse nightmares.
When I was able to fall into a deeper sleep, I kept dreaming that the apartment was being broken into. Once I dreamed that I woke up and heard someone moving around inside, shuffling things around, coughing, sighing, breathing heavily and occasionally mumbling to himself. I was terrified, but as soon as I was able to muster the steadiest, "Who the fuck is down there?!" that I could manage, I woke up. (Immediately after waking up I switched on a light, called out an "Is anyone here?" and eventually checked the downstairs area. There was no one there, of course.)
The worst dream I had the entire night was another break-in dream, but much more threatening than the others. I "awoke" to a large, rough hand covering my mouth, and then moving down to wrap around my neck. The prowler mumbled something in an incredibly creepy voice about me keeping quiet, and slowly moved his hand down to rest on my stomach. I choked out a rather pathetic, "Please don't hurt me" and then woke up for real. I thought I might throw up after I came to my senses. I can't remember the last time I was that afraid. The dream was so fucking real. I can still remember exactly what that hand felt like on my skin. Fucked up doesn't begin to explain that dream. Clearly there is something wrong with my mind.
When I was finally able to get past the burglars and arachnids, I had one long dream that spanned the rest of the night. I don't remember most of it, but I know that most of my friends were in it and that I was being...not myself. For one thing I kept riding a motorcycle everywhere and I think motorcycles are death on wheels. Also, at the end of the dream I was at a restaurant eating lunch with Jenn, my mom, Johnny, some girl he was seeing and another one of my friends. While we were eating I was appallingly virulent to Johnny and his girlfriend for no reason that I can figure out. After waking up I felt horrified and even slightly depressed for acting in such a way, even though it was just a dream and I obviously had no control over myself in it.
So in a nutshell, last night was pretty much Hell.
In all honesty, I'm not looking forward to sleeping here tonight. I've never felt unsafe in this apartment but right now I do. Not so much in the sense that I feel threatened by anyone on the outside as much as that I feel unsafe in my own mind.
Yes, I am crazy. What of it?
♥
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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
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More tornadoes.
One almost grabbed me out of the back seat of a car as I was driving with my parents and, I think, someone else (I'm not sure who)...
At this point they're more a symbol to represent my life than anything else...
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Monday, November 13th, 2006
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Oh Starry Dynamo: I had a dream last night that I failed all of my classes. At the end of the dream all of my teeth rotted and fell out. I think that I need a Valium or something. . .
PsionicFiend: I think you need a vacation.
Oh Starry Dynamo: Probably.
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Saturday, November 4th, 2006
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| Subject: | WTF x2 |
| Time: | 9:49 pm. |
| Mood: | headachy. | | Music: | "Coast to Coast" by Elliott Smith. |
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While my dreams last night weren't anything worth remembering (as far as I'm aware), I had a couple of pretty weird ones today during my four-hour post-CD sale nap.
The first one took place during. . .I am achieving supreme geekiness for this one. . .some kind of anime-type-thing that took place in a semi-rural village in feudal Japan or something. I call it an anime-type-thing because the dream was literally a cartoon. I don't understand it any more than you do. Anyway. Sometimes I was a random female character in the dream and sometimes I was viewing it like I was watching a movie. I don't remember much of it, except the end during which the "main character" dude saved the day by catching a gigantic palm tree that was about to fall on a bunch of people. He was really strong, I guess. Also, everyone was pissed off at him for some reason before he saved them, and he was bordering on being exiled from the village. I don't remember why. Oh, and for some reason his wife had either left him or was forced to leave him because he was "shamed". After he saved all the people, though, everyone loved him and the leader of the village offered him the hand of this beautiful woman--who may or may not have been royalty--as a way to repay him for his brave deed (or whatever). He refused, however, and went off on a long speech about how his wife/ex-wife was the only woman for him, etc. etc. I vaguely remember the village leader getting somewhat irritated with this, but after that the dream is gone. I'm pretty sure this dream is Tony(![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) supakhai)'s fault for being obsessed with all things Japanese and being around me all the time. Oh, but maybe it's because of Ana's radio show--Asia Crossroads--that I do mentoring sessions on once a week. Either way: weird. Just weird.
The second dream, I blame mostly on Pel (grimarcher) but slightly on Tony, too. Somehow, in the dream, Pel convinced my family and I that I should take martial arts classes to help me with my anxiety and depression issues. (No idea.) So I go to the martial arts place and I'm wearing this gi and wandering around while different guys--all Asian and all looking straight out of cheesy, cliché kung fu movies--show me around the place. There was music playing in the place, too, but I don't remember any of it (minus one song, which I'll get to in a second). Anyway, so eventually one of the kung fu dudes tells me to sit down and wait for my sensei to get there, so I do. Then, for some unknown reason, I notice that my gi has become, basically, a thick, white bathrobe, and I'm sweltering. So, for God-only-knows-why, I decide to take off my gi/bathrobe and I'm sitting there in my underwear, waiting for my sensei to get there. (What the fuck, Tamara? Really, what the fuck?) Then, while I'm waiting there mostly naked, the music in the place changes. . .to "Coast to Coast" by Elliott Smith. Just as this happens, the most cliché-looking, wise-old-Asian-man stereotype walks up to me and is introduced to me as my sensei. I smile at him and say that I love the song that's playing, and he gives me this all-knowing type of smile. Then I realize that I'm pretty much naked. After all that. And then. . .I have one of the first lucid dream experiences of my life that hasn't been associated with sleep paralysis. I begin to panic about being in my underwear, and I somehow realize that I'm dreaming. Instead of waking up, however, I just. . .rewind my dream, for lack of a better way of putting it. And I put my bathrobe/gi back on. And then I continue dreaming for a little while, but I don't really remember the rest of it. But, yeah, it's Pel's fault for constantly doing his jujutsu shit at me (no, not "around" me, "at" me) and Tony's fault for telling me about the fact that Steven Drozd plays the drums on "Coast to Coast", like, two nights ago.
Anyway. Wonky dreams, for sure.
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I was at some center or plaza in Irvine with my mother when I bumped into Jessica with her son, Greyson. He was much older than he is now--between three and five years old--so perhaps the dream was taking place in the future. Or perhaps it was just dream logic. I'm not sure. Jessica looked like she did in high school, she was wearing that purple jacket she always used to and. . .well. . .she didn't look like she'd had a kid, if you know what I mean. As soon as I noticed Jes and Greyson my mother acknowledged them affectionately but continued walking to some store or another. I, however, stopped to talk to them for a while. They were running around laughing, playing, chasing one another. It was a very typical mother-son scene. At one point, though, Jes went off do to something and I was left alone with Greyson. I can't remember if she asked me to watch him or if she was just sort of gone all of a sudden, but she did indeed leave. After she left I grinned at him and opened my arms and he came bounding towards me, also grinning. I swooped him up in a big hug and carried him around for a little bit. However--and this part is not so clear--at some point Greyson bumped his head on something and said, "Ow. . ." I tried to play with him and talk to him to distract him from his "owie," as it was rather insignificant, but he began to cry anyway, which made me very worried that Jes would be angry with me when she returned.
Then my dream shifted to something else. This part of my dream is not so clear in my memory, but it lead to my sleep paralysis attack. Somehow I was walking around in my house and my parents were there. I think I remember getting out of my bed and going down the stairs, but I'm not sure. I do remember that colours seemed especially vivid in this dream, and that my house was somewhat different than it actually is. At one point I walked into the kitchen and saw that my parents had bought a very large saltwater tank filled with fish. It was sitting on the stove, which, at the time, I was sure was just a temporary placement for it. I stared at the fish for a while. They were mostly bright, vivid red, black and a bright-yet-deep, glowing kind of blue. They were very beautiful fish. There was one gigantic one that looked like a large oscar but prettier--it was red with black markings and it seemed more sleek and delicate than an oscar--that I was especially fond of. After staring at the fish I walked through the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room to notice that my parents had completely redesigned it too look very modern but attractive. I could see where the fish tank would be placed at the center of the dining room table, as an elaborate centerpiece of sorts. The table itself was oddly shaped. Very asymmetrical, it looked like our current dining room table had been sawed in half and that a different piece of wood (or possibly a piece of stone) was attached to the un-sawed end and that it was all painted a greyish-brownish-blackish colour. After walking through the dining room I made my way into the garage, where I heard my parents talking. I mentioned the fish to them and told them that they were amazing and beautiful and that I was surprised that they bought them, but they either barely acknowledged me or I just don't remember what they said. After this my dream gets really hazy for a while. I feel like I did several more things, but I don't remember any of them. The next thing I remember is listening to my parents talk about what they should do to/for/with the fish for a while and approaching them saying, "Uh, guys, you are aware that I have a friend who works with fish, and that he has worked with fish for a very long time, right?" (Obviously I was referring to Rhuss [gaffeizil].) Their replies were odd, though. My dad, who kind of seemed like he was in La-La Land responded with something like, "Really? Huh. . ." and my mom who was being very cold and distant just said something like, "No, Tamara." I got the idea that they either were set on paying some ridiculous amount for some guy that they didn't know to help them, or that they were offended that I would suggest that they couldn't do the fish thing on their own. I started feeling really annoyed / pissed off with them, so I went back to look at the fish. Here is where things start getting scary: the fish tank was beginning to boil. I very quickly did something to stop the tank from boiling and somehow all the fish survived, but I was thoroughly disturbed by the situation. I don't even think that it was the stove that caused the tank to boil, it seemed like something on the tank itself that heated up the water. After this, my dream is even more hazy in my memory. I know that I somehow ended up back in my bed, and that I very fuzzily saw someone taking things out of my room. I was bothered by this, but for some reason I closed my eyes and tried to "go back to sleep." When I closed my eyes, a sign with a phrase comprised of 3-4 words (I don't remember them) and a small image on it flashed before them, and somehow I knew that the person was part of a larger group of people who were taking my life away piece-by-piece, and somehow I came to the conclusion that the fish were involved. (My revelation was much more thorough in my dream, but, again, I just don't remember it.) When I opened my eyes a second time, there was an older woman of Hispanic descent with long black hair in a braid, a pink poncho-like thing and a white flower behind her ear. She was collecting all of the scarves and hats on my door. I asked her what she was doing and why, but she ignored me and continued doing what she was doing. I tried to sit up but couldn't. At this point I think I recognized that I was dreaming and this was a sleep paralysis situation, but I didn't care--I wanted that woman to stop doing what she was doing, even if she was just part of a weird dream. I struggled with all of my strength to sit up--and even started to, partially--but felt pushed back by some invisible but intense force. After this I stayed still on my bed for a moment and then--screaming, threw myself forward with all of my will. That woke me up, and I was surprised to see that the woman I saw was actually just a weird hallucination caused by a combination of the sleep paralysis and the fact that I was looking at scarves that vaguely took the shape of a woman of her description when looked at by someone as blind as myself.
I woke up--at 1:20PM--sweaty, exhausted and with a headache, as I usually do after forcing myself out of sleep paralysis, but I was way too disturbed to go back to sleep. So I wrote all this instead.
If you can lend me some insight into any or all of this, by all means. . .
♥
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Lately I've been having incredibly vivid-but-bizarre dreams that I forget just a minute or two after waking.
Last night I remember being at some kind of theme park with my mom and sister, Jenn (xellyfer). I remember us all being hungry and thirsty, but none of us had very much money. My mom ended up taking us to a snack stand and told us that we could all order one thing. At this point this guy kind of joined us--part of me remembers him working there, but part of me doesn't--and my mom was going to buy him something, too. For some reason, him randomly joining us wasn't weird, even though I'm pretty sure I didn't know him in my dream. Jenn ordered cotton candy and I couldn't think of what to order. I was torn between cotton candy and agua de jamaica, as I was both hungry and thirsty. I voiced my indecision, and the guy commented that agua de jamaica sounded really good. I offered to share my cotton candy with him if he shared his agua de jamaica with me, and he smiled and said that was a good idea. I wish I knew who he was. He seemed to be of Hispanic descent, from his dark features and bone structure, but I'm fairly certain that he was American--or at least very Americanized--from his mannerisms and the way he spoke. He was also very sweet, kind and beautiful, and he smiled a lot. Perhaps I designed myself an Angel Juan for my dream? ;] Who knows?
I just remembered something else from my dream. There was this other guy--this one definitely worked there--who was very cute and funny, but who kept making mean little comments about my family and I. We didn't do anything but glare at him when he was around, but when he wasn't there I kept calling him Mr. Snark and making fun of him by saying that he was working a shit job at a theme park and that he wasn't going anywhere in life. Then, somehow, I found out that he was attending UC Berkeley and I got REEEEEEEEALLY pissed off. I remember that he looked kind of like "Angel Juan" but that his features were a bit more angular and his eyes were more exotic-looking and less round. "Mr. Snark" was just as attractive as "Angel Juan," but in an infuriatingly sexy kind of way rather than a heartmeltingly beautiful kind of way. Still, even though he was quite hot and rather smart, I didn't like him at all and I wanted to kick him in the shins for being such an asshole.
My dream had a lot that occurred before these things and some things that occurred after, but I don't remember any of them. . .
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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
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Last night I dreamt of jacaranda blossoms.
It's almost that time again. . .
♥
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Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
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I dreamt of tornadoes again.
(It's something that's happened since I was a small child.)
I can only assume it represents the turmoil in my life. Or perhaps the turmoil that surrounds my life.
Any insight, Marissa (violetonyx)?
♥
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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I had a very lovely dream last night, however the contents of that dream are for me, myself and I only. ;)
♥
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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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I was driving to my house with a certain beautiful boy I know, when suddenly I had an intense craving for Wendy's fries and a Frostee. I passed the turn to my house, but only then thought to ask him if he wanted anything to eat. He said no, but that he didn't mind me getting something. I decided against it, and headed for a place to make a U-turn. That's when I suddenly developed a migraine headache. I took some Maxalt and he offered to drive until my head stopped feeling as if it was being hit repeatedly with a hammer. I agreed and we switched seats. Then he started driving and went to make a U-turn ... even though the light was red. Then we were pulled over by a police car with two cops inside, and they asked us the usual illegal-driving questions. That's when my friend said that he didn't have a license, or rather, that he never did. Then the cops hauled him off and I sat, stunned and sore, in my car seat.
Then I "woke" up. He called me. I felt "fuzzy" and asked him if what I dreamt about had actually happened. He said he wasn't sure and that he too was feeling "mentally fuzzy". Eventually it was decided that it did indeed happen, and he apologized for not telling me that he didn't have a driver's license. I was about to ask him when/how he got out of police custody when I woke up--for real this time.
...
I chalk this dream up to me eating little and having a strange phone conversation yesterday.
Any input from you, readers?
♥
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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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I had a dream last night that I was riding my motorcycle (you know, the one I don't have in my waking life) to  Brandon's house.
In the process, I ran out of gas and almost got squashed between two mack trucks.
When I got to his house, I told Brandon what happened and he, like the good concerned boyfriend he is, freaked out a bit and asked why I would put myself in such a dangerous situation.
That's when I remembered: I hate motorcycles for that very reason - they're extremely dangerous.
And then I woke up.
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| Subject: | Yes, but ... why? |
| Time: | 12:40 pm. |
| Mood: | groggy. | | Music: | "Faces In Disguise" by Sunny Day Real Estate. |
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Recently I've been having bad dreams with a recurring theme that is too bizarre, uncomfortable and unrealistic (now, anyway) to talk about.
My subconcious mind is like a completely different person, sometimes...
☆
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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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All I can remember about my dream last night is that -- for reasons which I cannot recall -- Meghan hated me.
That was pretty devastating, even in something as simple as a dream. =\
No bueno...
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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Monday afternoon I took a nap and I had one of the most disturbing dreams that I can remember having...
I was having a strange dream that somehow involved eating a meal with my friends and family, and then I "woke up". But not really. But I didn't know that. I then sat in my bed, feeling quite groggy and not wanting to get up yet. I saw a book lying on the floor next to my bed, and I picked it up and started to read it. As I read I started to feel more and more tired, and slightly dizzy. After a while I put the book down, and then I noticed that when the book was turned upside-down and read backwards, there was another book to read. That book was, for some reason, infinitely more interesting than the former, so I read for a while before I started feeling like there was something very wrong with me. I put the book down and tried to lie down and go back to sleep, but I couldn't because the room would rock and spin whenever I closed my eyes. When I moved very much at all, I would feel incredibly weak and disoriented, and standing up was basically an impossibility. I sat still on my bed for a while, hoping it would pass, but it only got progressively worse and worse. Eventually I started to panic a bit, and I decided that taking a cold shower might make me feel better. So I stood up to walk to the bathroom, and almost immediately collapsed onto the floor, as the room spun around me. I was too weak to cry out for someone in my family to come help me, and all I could manage was writhing and rolling towards my bedroom door, while gasping like a fish out of water, and making quiet pained noises. When I got to the edge of the door, it opened suddenly and my mother looked down at me in horror as I lie twitching on the floor and made noises not unlike those made by a dying animal. Then I woke up. I was horribly confused for at least five minutes, due to the extreme realism of the dream. My heart was pounding (and continued doing so for a good fifteen minutes) and my whole bed was drenched from me sweating terrified bullets. Eventually I managed to calm myself down enough to take the shower I so desperately wanted in my dream, and it was quite possibly the best shower I've ever had.
My mind really disturbs and frightens me, sometimes...
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Friday, September 12th, 2003
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Because I was having trouble sleeping last night, I had four separate, short dreams, as opposed to one long dream like I usually have...
The first dream took place in a Wherehouse Music Store, though not the one I used to work at, I don't think. I was, however, working there in the dream. The dream was very color-focused. In the store, I was sorting Crayola crayons and markers and putting them into the correct boxes. I was also eating Jelly Belly jelly beans and some other brightly-colored candy while I was working. That was basically all I can remember about the dream, but the vividness (is that even a word?) of the colors was really the only aspect of the dream that stood out or really seemed to matter...
The second dream was, for lack of a better word, a nightmare. I think it occurred because I watched The Cube with Jenn, Devan and Ryan a few days ago... Maybe not, though. Either way, in the dream I was partially this random guy, and partially 3rd-person. I/He was stuck in a weird building with a monster/ghost/demon/evil evil thing that was trying to kill me. I/He kept running away from it, hiding, and making narrow escapes until I/he met this girl. She knew a trick to avoiding the monster that somehow involved backtracking through rooms you had already been in, but I can't really remember it, anymore. Eventually we got into one room, and we saw another person (I can't recall if they were male or female). They were hiding from the creature, also. Then the creature came into the room, scary as all fucking hell. It couldn't see us because of our backtracking thing, but it saw the other person. It used some crazy power or something to petrify and then levitate them and pull them through a door, but not before decapitating them by smashing their head into the doorframe. My mother then woke me up by coming into my room, thank goodness.
My third dream was partially lucid, but it was so upsetting that I'd rather not make it public.
The fourth dream involved me running an errand for my mother to pick up a pizza, and then getting lost on the way home. My old friend Katie and someone else were with me. I ended up stuck on a mountain somewhere, and my car disappeared just before the end of the dream. It was incredibly random... Especially when a Christian/Republican organization threw shit at my car when I drove past and they saw my hippie-esque bumper stickers, and when I almost accidentally stole the cheese grater from the little old Italian man who ran the pizza shop. My brain is fucking weird.
That's about it... Oh, and apparently I've started grinding my teeth and/or clenching my jaw in my sleep. My whole head is sore, now. =[
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